Mug of Perfection - One Shot
by RMSE
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke is a hard working novelist. He slaves away writing beautiful novels one after the other, his sleep schedule suffering. When he does rest and awakens the next day, all he wants is a simple cup of coffee... But what happens when his favorite mug has disappeared! And why does Naruto have a bunny...?


Characters (c) M. Kishimoto.

SasuNaru; yaoi.

Enjoy! c:

* * *

Sasuke sighed, leaning back in his chair, it quietly groaning from the action. He stared forth at his monitor, it luminating the dark room, being the only source of light, and it was rather bright. It was beginning bug Sasuke's eyes, but he couldn't be bothered with reaching for the lamp. He was tired, and the action just seemed like far too much effort right now. He was mildly pleased with the chapter he just finished and was ready to turn in for the night. He removed his rectangularly framed glasses and rubbed gently at the spot they typically roosted, closing his eyes and drawing in a slow breath. He narrowed his eyes to see the time his desktop provided in the bottom right corner and huffed a small bit.

No wonder he was feeling so tired. It was breaching four in the morning. He barely had three hours of rest the prior night. He both hated and enjoyed when inspiration hit him. He enjoyed it because, well - a novelist wouldn't be much without inspiration, now would he? But he also hated it, because that said inspiration liked to fuck him over sleep-wise and hit him like a brick in the most inconvenient times. Typically, right when he gets comfortable in bed.

He'd contemplated before about getting a laptop so it wouldn't be such a hassle dragging himself out of bed and to his office, but he just never got around to it.

With a yawn, he saved his work and glided the computer mouse over, clicking out of the provided program. He pressed off his monitor and stood from his chair, it sliding back with ease on its wheels on the hardwood floor. He didn't bother replacing his specks back on, just simply heading to his room right across the hall and setting them on the nightstand. He turned and entered the bathroom, which was kiddy corner to his room, and did his business in there, as well as brushing his teeth. He thought about a shower, but then wrinkled his nose.

He hated going to bed with wet hair. It made his hair look all sorts of fucking weird in the morning to the point where no gel stood a chance. So he forewent the shower and just decided to head to bed, yawning again.

* * *

Where the hell did it go? He _knew_ he had put it in the dishwasher last night before he started any more work. He _knew_ it was clean by now, and he _knew_ he hadn't yet put the dishes away because they were all still fucking there. All but _that one_.

"The fuck is my coffee mug?"

He couldn't start the day without coffee. That was just purely proposterous. Now his coffee was ready, yet he did not have the suitable container for it, and it was beginning to make him itch with irritation. At this point, having slept only a couple hours before his alarm was screaming at him to wake the fuck up, he was not in any mood to deal with anything rationally and was tempted to just drink the fucking coffee out of the damn pot. At this point, he could use the whole damn pot.

And of course, he didn't have any other mug. Why would he? He lived alone. Having more than one just seemed useless, a waste of money, and redundant. But now that one mug was missing, and it was just too early to comprehend _why_. Unless some little fuck broke into his house, sneaked into the kitchen and for some unworldy reason looked into his dishwasher and was like, 'dude, this coffee mug would look perfect with me and not this fuck. Screw the expensive desktop, the plasma screen TV, the change jar atop the fridge, and the car keys sitting on the table to the Dodge Avenger sitting pretty outside, no. I need this mug. Just this mug. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing else besides this perfect mug of fucking perfection, which will make everything I drink out of it perfection,' and took the fucking mug of fucking perfection.

That was _Sasuke's_ mug of fucking perfection, and now it was gone. He didn't know who the little fuck of a thief was, but he was going to die - even if he didn't exist. If he didn't exist, Sasuke would just continue to mentally eviscerate him until his mug magically appeared again.

"Too early for this shit," he hissed, rubbing down his face. He didn't want to go all the up town to the fucking store just to buy a mug. His coffee would be nasty and cold by then anyway and he'd have wasted a whole pot. Either way, it seemed like this pot of coffee was going to go to waste, and it pissed him off. Coffee wasn't cheap, god damnit.

At first, Sasuke thought it was his head throbbing with an ache of lacking his morning caffeine, but he quickly enough processed it was a harsh and rather obnoxious banging on his front door.

His coffee wouldn't go to waste if he slammed the pot and all into whoever-the-fuck-was-being-so-fucking-retarded-so- early-in-the-fucking-morning's face, though he already had an inkling who it was.

Groaning and reluctantly going to the door, he swung it open and side-stepped a flying fist, scowling at both the sunlight that blindingly flooded in and at the gigantic goofy grin that greeted him.

"Morning!" Naruto practically squeeled.

_I hate morning people,_ Sasuke hissed in his mind, turning and moving into the living room, leaving the door open for his editor.

Naruto frowned as Sasuke stalked off, though he was used to such a greeting. Sasuke looked particularly worse-for-wear this morning, and he grimaced. He closed the door behind himself and walked into the living room, noting Sasuke hadn't noticed yet what he was holding in his hands.

Sasuke had plopped down on his black colored couch. "The manuscripts are ready, they just need to be printed yet," he grumbled as he nabbed his pack of cigarettes off the coffee table and poked one between his lips and lit it up. He tossed both the pack and lighter back onto the coffee, took a drag, and the next thing Sasuke knew when he looked up to see his editor, he had a stuffed rabbit staring him in the face. He blinked, startled for a split second but he brushed it off easy.

"Um..." He leaned back, uncomfortable with the close proximity of the beady eyed stuffed critten. "Bunny?"

"Yes, dear?" Naruto chirped with a grin behind the bloody thing. Sasuke scowled at him.

"_No_, the fuck is with the damn bunny?" It was hazardously pink and fluffy and had a satin purple bow tied around its neck. Its eyes weren't black like a normal stuffed toys, but were instead almost an aqua blue, which made it even more creepy somehow. He wanted it out of his face, out of his house, and burned.

"It's an apology gift."

Sasuke's eyebrow perked as he looked to the blond, smoke drifting from his lips as he spoke. "An apology gift? For what and from whom?" He blew out the rest of the smoke, slightly smirking as Naruto's nose twitched. He always hated Sasuke's nasty habbit, but had only ever said anything once and never again. Sasuke wasn't sure why he didn't keep nagging like everyone else, but didn't particularly care to find out an answer.

"Erm..." Naruto lowered the bunny, now seeming to nervously play with its ears as his gaze casted downwards at it. "I kind of - well... You see... I mean... It was - Well, _I _was... I mean, it was meant - "

"Oh my fucking god, either tell me or shove that fucking rabbit up your ass and get out of my house." He took a long drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke explode out from his nose as he glared at Naruto. Without his coffee, he was fully aware of what a bitch he could be. Not only that, but _god_ did he hate it when Naruto beated around the bush, or when anyone did it. Was it so fucking hard to just say something point blank and bluntly? Really? What was everyone's cowardice problem? _Bunch of pussies_... He grumbled in thought.

"I broke your mug."

_I mean, really, the lot of th - _". . . What?"

Naruto squeaked, throwing his head to the side and wrenching his eyes shut, bringing the stuffed bunny before his face as if it would provide the ultimate defense against any offensive measures taken. A long moment of silence passed and he was scared to look back to the raven, knowing seeing those heated obsidian eyes would seal his fate. But the uneasy silence was driving him mad, and he had to know if Sasuke was peeling him a part layer of skin by layer of skin in his mind, ready to boil his bones for a yummy Naruto soup later that evening, using his blood as the broth, he was sure. Sasuke seemed sadistic enough to do so.

So, slowly and very hesitantly, he lowered the bunny just enough for his blue orbs to peek over the tuff on the head of it and was surprised to see Sasuke not looking at him at all. Instead, he had removed his glasses and was rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He often did that when he was either tired or beyond irritated or frustrated. Naruto had a feeling he was both, so he was landing himself in the double negative here. He was still ready for the skin peeling to come.

"You..." the raven began, but trailed off, shaking his head some. "How the _fuck _did you _break_ my _mug_?"

"U-Um..." Naruto stammered, shifting uneasy weight between his feet. "I, uh... Well - "

"_Spit it the fuck out_."

"I came here earlier and used the spare key you hide underneath the rug outside and came in and I was going to make you a pot of coffee to be nice and stuff but before I could actually start the pot I had turned and caught the edge of the rug you have in the kitchen and tripped and the mug shattered on the kitchen floor and Sasuke, I'm really sorry, please don't kill me! Bunny loves you!" And the rabbit was his face's armor again, eyes closed, ready for impact. He had said everything all in one rushed breath, and was sort of hoping Sasuke didn't catch any of it, but he knew he would. And he knew he'd die. Sasuke loved his mug, though Naruto never got why. It was solid bright orange and was probably the most colorful thing Sasuke owned. Besides his new bunny friend. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke!" he added in for further appeasement for the very tiny possibility it would ease his punishment by any amount. Again. Silence came. A very long, straining silence.

Again, Naruto slowly peaked over the bunny and shrunk a little when he saw those charcoal eyes boaring into him. He swallowed thickly. Surprisingly, they didn't hold the amount malice he had anticipated, but they seemed far from impressed, too.

"Naruto..."

"Yes...?"

"... Instead of buying me a fucking stuffed _rabbit_, why didn't you just buy another fucking _mug_?"

Naruto blinked. ". . . Um." He lowered the rabbit, staring at the floor. Apparently, this grand idea hadn't even stepped foot near him.

_Of course it didn't_, Sasuke grumbled in thought, once again rubbing the bridge of his nose before replacing his glasses in their spot. _It would be tempted to be pulled into his gravitational pull of stupidity and be warped into something so miraculously ridiculous that the God of Idiocy wouldn't even want to touch it._ Of course, such a god didn't exist, but he was sure, for Naruto, it would. Who else could bless him with so much lack of common sense? How the fuck did this fuck even become his editor? Seriously? Sometimes, Sasuke thought he belonged behind the counter of a fast food joint rather than here.

No, Sasuke knew why Naruto was an editor - it was all thanks to his money-talking father.

He sighed heavily, leaning forward after taking one last long and hard drag from his cigarette and smooshing it out in the given ashtray. "Naruto," he said, catching the blond's attention. "Just..." He let the smoke spill from him as he closed his eyes. "Just go to my room, yeah?"

Naruto blinked before a grin split his face. Without another word, he hopped off in that direction, Mr. Bunny going with him.

Sasuke watched him go and smirked after he left.

Despite Sasuke's incesent whining about his less than spectacular editor, he couldn't ask for a more perfect lover.

* * *

"I don't want it."

"But why not?!" Naruto exclaimed, pulling out all the stops in his pouting, lip jutted out and everything. He had the sheet tucked concealingly around him, to Sasuke's dismay, and the obnoxiously pink-ass bunny sitting in the centre of his crossed legs, hands playing with the stupid thing's arms, moving them up and down as if it was jovial to be sitting where it was. Sasuke would much rather be sitting where that fucking thing was.

"Because it's creepy and weird and fucking _pink_, Naruto. I hate pink. You knew this, didn't you?" Sasuke lit up another cigarette, taking a drag of it.

After a moment of breathing in the second hand cancer, Naruto frowned. He did know. He had forgotten. Which he often does. He sighed heavily before tossing the damn thing onto the floor, Sasuke pleased.

He sat up in the bed, moving the cigarette away from his mouth as the sheet slipped down his bare torso. He leaned forward and guided Naruto's disappointed face to be straight with his own. He gave a rather seductive smirk, lips brushing over the other's. "Just buy me a mug tomorrow and we're square, okay?"

Naruto grinned back. "Pink?"

Sasuke scowled at him, retreating back some though Naruto woudn't let him pull away any further, grabbing either side of the raven's face and pulling him close, smashing their lips together rather painfully before it softened. Naruto always thought Sasuke tasted like minty smoke, between his toothpaste and menthol cigarettes. He loved that taste, and despite the health danger of the raven's bad habit, Sasuke was a bad habit of Naruto's altogether, so fair was fair. He loved Sasuke's taste, and could never get enough of it. Not only that, but it would be weird to see a cranky Sasuke without a toxic stick in his mouth.

The kiss broke away all too soon for the blond, Sasuke moving to place his cheek against the Uzumaki's. "I'm tired," he whispered into his ear, causing a shiver to go through the other, making the raven grin.

"You're always tired..." Naruto pouted quietly with little dedication.

"Because I work all the time. Between you and writing, I'm exhausted," he smirked to the blond, leaning back onto his elbows that kept him propped up.

Naruto looked over his lover, tracing over the lines of his abs. He wasn't sure how Sasuke even had them since he never saw him doing anything physically laboring; he never went to the gym. Hell, it was a rare sight to see the raven _outside_, he was so damn reclusive. But he enjoyed this body, and enjoyed touching it all the more, and continued letting his hands trickle along the soft, porcelaine flesh.

Sasuke was watching the hand trace almost hypnotically on his stomach, just barely hearing the question handed to him.

"Why did you like that mug so much?"

"I don't know," Sasuke lied, eyes looking elsewhere before they simply closed, his cigarette returning to his mouth. He had almost forgotten about it. After a second, he recalled how he didn't have an ashtray in his room, and cursed under his breath, flicking the ashes into his half glass of water on his nightstand as the smoke seeped from his lips. "I just did."

Naruto huffed, not particularly sure if he believed such an answer, but didn't press it.

Sasuke couldn't admit that the obnoxious orange mug reminded him of the blond - how could he? That was just as sappy as the annoying women he created in his novels. Most of those said women were killed off. No, he remembered the day years ago, perhaps four - five, now, back before him and this Adonis-looking man got together, back when his attraction was still sorely one-sided. He had bought the mug probably out of self-torture and sort of impulsively, reminding himself of his editor every single morning he got his coffee, telling himself back then how it just wouldn't happen.

He recalled, however, a blubbering, nervous Naruto standing in the middle of the very same living room they had just been but an hour or two before, confessing all his heart unto Sasuke about two years ago. They'd been together since then, and he couldn't be happier about it. Of course, he's also never told Naruto that he liked him years before, because that would just put Naruto in a shining spot and Sasuke couldn't have that. He couldn't admit to being the one crushing first. That was just girlish. Naruto was allowed to be far more girlish than Sasuke, so that was that. Yes, that was the raven's logic. Where did logic have to speak in love, anyway?

"I want it orange."

Naruto blinked. "What?" He had gotten lost in his own thoughts, as the raven had, and had been just as hypnotized as the Uchiha was by his tracing fingers.

"I want the mug orange, like my last one."

Naruto's brow knit in confusion. "I thought you hated orange?"

"I never said that," Sasuke said, taking a hit of his cigarette. "I've said I hate pi - ... You fucking falsely remember that I hate orange, yet you don't remember that I actually hate pink?" He narrowed his eyes at his lover.

"Well it was easier to remember orange because it's my favorite color!" Naruto exclaimed defensively, pouting immediately afterwards. "And I was panicked. Wasn't thinking straight."

"Obviously," Sasuke grumbled. "I'd be worried if you were _thinking straight_ anyway." He smirked, taking another hit.

Naruto stared at Sasuke a moment. The raven could practically hear gears turning before they finally clicked and Naruto snorted, smiling some at the horrible pun. "Fine," he murmured, "It'll be the brightest orange I can find."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Sasuke said, giving a soft smile of his own as he blew smoke out into the air above.

Naruto watched him a long moment before before moving closer suddenly with purpose, snagging Sasuke's cigarrete. He took a drag, the Uchiha more stunned than pissed by the action. Next, he moved closer, grinning as he pressed his lips to Sasuke's, kissing him ravenously as he allowed the smoke to dance between their enclosed mouths, it seeping out from the occassional cracks.

Sasuke grinned right back and entangled his fingers into the sunkissed locks of his lover.

He didn't need coffee today. He already had his mug of perfection.

* * *

**A/N: **My inspiration was having a fit and didn't want to write anything serious. eAe So I asked a friend of mine to name three objects. She listed computer mouse, mug, and a stuffed bunny. x'D She also said something about someone having a mustache drawn on them, but I got too focused on the mug and forgot before it was fixable. So no doodled mustaches. ;w;

Oh&review?


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